ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
