I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
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