this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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