Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
