I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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