How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Randomize
