I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
