ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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