I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
