I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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