He kissed a someone with a penis
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
