awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize