I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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