wanna go halves on a baby?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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