I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
