I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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