And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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