I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
