this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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