ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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