can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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