It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
