I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
