So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
