I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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