How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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