He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
