He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Damn victory sex feels great
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
