How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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