dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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