this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
