Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
