The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
