my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
