I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
be right there i have to get my cape
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
