Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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