They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
did you just send me my own nude
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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