Sponge bath it is.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
