Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you win again, gameday.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
