are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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