I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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