ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
