This girl is more easily done than said...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Can I color on your dick again?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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