I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize