normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
