So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
