Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize