whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
