Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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