i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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