drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
