If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
