Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
