My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize