it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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