I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
