After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
