obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
