my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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