Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
