I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Im part way to drunk.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
