the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
4 words: hood of his car
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
