I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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