It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
