Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
