i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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