now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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