im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
