You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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