We won't sleep together?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
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