I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
