Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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