Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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