your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
