oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
