That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize