she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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