So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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