he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
