totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize