What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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