Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i would punch a child for taco bell
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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