i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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