I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
